Mandalore
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Um, well... here goes:
I turned to the dark side from the hate of country music, killed everyone here, took over the board, made everyone come to life again and be my slaves, took a break to eat, came back and killed everyone again, and then got bored and left for a few years, meanwhile everyone was fixing the board up, I destroyed it with a lollypop bazooka, ate some more, and then became a Jedi again, and everything's normal now.
...
...
OKAY! So that didn't happen!
Well, um, let someone else tell you... obviously I am not able to... 
(I get bored easily, rofl)
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